the other kingdom seems by far the best

well, i was just talking to my friend charu
she is one of my oldest friends and we havent met for 3-4 months
even though technically we live in the same city
the conversation made me realise something about myself
which i think i knew all along but just refused to acknowledge
that i am a very sad person at heart (sad as in hindi sad i.e. dukhi
and not english sad as in bechari or looser or whatever)
i think i love tragedy i love to live in the constant companionship of
tears and pain and loneliness and this makes me content,
but not happy and content just content...confused so am i
gawd knows what i mean or maybe not he also might be confused, poor chap.

ya but the conversation with charu also egged me on to change this state of drudgery
and i decided i'll start making a few changes ..bit by bit
for starters i changed my playlist...(neone who knows music will understand that
it makes hell of a difference)
i changed my desktop background...(neone who knows me will understand it was damn difficult)
i added more ppl to my facebook account...(neone who can tell how that helps is welcome)
i will also start painting again how much ever the schedule is cramped...(neone who has ever dipped their fingers in color will understand)
i will (in some time) dump my digicam and pick up my slr again...(neone who's been inside the photolab will understand the joy of seeing the prints emerging on that white sheet of paper)

oh ya why the title... well i am trying to change my world bit by bit and this new world seems promising (atleast for now) and gives me hope that perhaps i will smile alil bit more in life.